How to Feel Good About Yourself

Feeling truly good about yourself means loving the person you are — inside and out. It takes hard work and some major adjustments to learn to accept yourself and to address the unhappiness in your life. If you want to feel good about yourself, it starts with changing your attitude. After that, you can work on creating a lifestyle that makes you feel valuable, loved, and fulfilled.

There are three parts in doing this, that is Changing your Perspective , Taking action and then Making it stick.

1. Changing Your Perspective : 

Don't waste time comparing yourself to others. It will only lower your confidence and bring you down. There's no one out there just like you, who has grown up with your experiences and who has your talents. If you try to compare yourself to other people, you will inevitably end up feeling bad about yourself, because you can always find someone who is stronger, smarter, or prettier than you. Instead, focus on being the person that you want to become, not like your neighbor, the cool girls in your high school, or your older sister. Once you define your own version of success, you'll be able to achieve it.

• You may feel like everyone around you has it better off than you do. The problem is, you probably tend to focus on your weaknesses over your strengths, and may not even realize all of the things you have going for you. You may be wishing you were more like your best friend, who has so much confidence, while she has been wishing to have your brains or sense of humor all along.
  
  2. Develop your confidence. Confidence is the key to feeling good about yourself and to loving the person you are and will become. Unfortunately, it can't be developed overnight, but you can make an effort to follow a path that will lead you to feeling confident in who you are and what you can achieve. You have to remind yourself that you're an amazing person and that it doesn't matter what anyone says; if you think you're worth it, then you are. Here are some ways that you can develop your confidence:
• Perk up your body language. Stand taller, stop slouching, look straight ahead instead of at the ground. Stop fidgeting or folding your arms across your chance and you'll give off a more positive, approachable vibe. Better yet, you'll be able to make yourself feel more confident.
• Find something to really excel at, or work on excelling in something you already love. You'll feel better about yourself if you're good at something!
• Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself instead of putting you down.
•  When you're entering an unknown situation, focus on the best thing that can possibly happen instead of what can go wrong.

3. Take pride in your strengths. Surely there must be something you can feel good about! Take the time to sit down and make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Force yourself to sit there until you fill a whole page. We don't mean writing about how perfect your fingernails are, but about digging deep to find the things that really make you an amazing person. Think of qualities like your compassion, your sense of humor, your strength, or your ability to work hard at anything you do. The longer and more sincere the list, the better.

• Some qualities you can include are: loving, studious, hardworking, friendly, strong, clever, sharp, easygoing, and fun.
• Keep this list nearby and consult it often to continue feeling good. You can even fold it up and put it in your wallet.
• Add to the list any time you think of something else you're proud of.
• Heck, if you love your hair or your eyes, you can write down those things too. Not everything on the list has to be super serious.
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• 4. Don't be down on yourself for having bad days. Sometimes you just have to live with the bad feelings and just know they'll pass. If you feel seriously sad, be sure to talk to an adult who cares about you. Also, when you're in a bad mood, your body knows it. Think about which part of your body gets out of whack when you're crabby or upset. Do you get a stomach ache when you're nervous about a test? Do you get a headache when you feel anxious? If you recognize your body's signals, you may be able to figure out what's bothering you and make yourself feel better.
• People think that, to feel good about themselves, they have to feel amazing 100% of the time. This is just impossible. If you're having a bad day, especially if it's after a string of great days, then don't be hard on yourself and know that this too will pass.
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  5. Work on developing a positive attitude. You may be thinking, "Ha! If only it were that easy!" If you could just flip on a switch and be all positive all the time, you wouldn't have done it, right? Well, that's where you're wrong. Developing a positive attitude is just as much a decision as something you're born with. You can work on recognizing when your thoughts are overly negative and turn them around to lead yourself to a healthier mindset. If you have a more positive attitude, then you'll feel better about yourself, as well as your future prospects and all that you can accomplish. Here are some ways you can do it:
• For every negative thought that crosses your mind, fight it with at least two or three positive thoughts. For example, if you think, "I look so tired today," you can say, "But my hair looks pretty great and I still have an amazing smile." On a deeper level, if you think something like, "I am just so awkward in social situations," you should say, "But I usually know how to make people laugh and people seem really comfortable around me."
• Practice talking about yourself positively to your friends. You don't have to brag to talk about something you've accomplished or something you're excited about. You'll find that your optimism is contagious, and that you'll feel better about yourself just by talking about it out loud.
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  6. Know that you have a lot to offer. You may feel bad about yourself because you may feel like you're completely useless or like no one needs you. Well, this is rarely the case! Talk to your friends and loved ones to see how needed you really are, and how much people appreciate you. Let your family members know how you're feeling, and they'll come back at you with a list of all of the amazing qualities that you posses. Talk to your friends about your problems and they'll tell you you're crazy; they couldn't have done anything without you!
• The more you remember that you're a worthy person who anyone is lucky to know, the sooner you'll realize that you have so much to offer. And if you feel valued, then you'll be on your way to feeling better about yourself.

7.  Make a list of all of the things you're thankful for. You may feel bad about yourself because you feel like you have absolutely nothing to be happy about. Feeling bad about yourself doesn't have to do with just your perception of who you are, but with how you feel about your surroundings. If you practice making a gratitude list, writing down all of the things you're thankful for, from your health to your siblings to the lovely weather outside, you'll soon see that you have no reason to feel bad — there is so much joy, luck, and hope all around you, if you know where to look!

• Treat this list like the list of qualities you love about yourself. Fill a whole page and read it over often, adding to it whenever you think of something else.

8. Don't obsess about your appearance. Everyone is beautiful in their own special way. It's fine to want to see what's changing and to daydream about who you're becoming. But spending too much time in front of the mirror — or peeking at your reflection in every mirror you pass — is not worth it. You've got better things to do! If you want to feel good about yourself, then you should maintain a healthy and put-together look without making your looks your main priority; if you spend all your time wishing you looked perfect, then you'll never find happiness or peace.

• One way to do this is to limit your face time. Say that you'll spend 10-15 minutes doing your hair and makeup and looking in the mirror before you go out. If you spend any more time than that on yourself, you are bound to find flaws where none exist.

 9. Stop caring about what people think. Have you been hurt by words? Remember this: People who insult others usually do it to make themselves be powerful. Know what that means? They're probably insecure. They are the ones who lack confidence, so try not to bend into the pressure to return their jabs with an insult. The best thing you can do to annoy these people is to live your life exactly how you want to live it without looking back.

• Of course, not caring about what people think is easier said than done. Instead of being in denial about caring, ask yourself what is at the heart of wanting to please other people. Ask yourself if the people who hurt you are worth impressing. Soon enough, you'll see that they are only an obstacle to your happiness, not a means toward it.

2. Taking Action

1. Tell your family and friends about your accomplishments. When you accomplish something you're really proud of — whether it's passing a tough test or finishing a winning soccer season — that's when you're at your most beautiful. Give yourself a pat on the back! Call a grandparent or e-mail a favorite aunt to share the news. Celebrate with family and friends. This will make you routinely feel better about who you are, because you'll have other people cheering you on.

• Don't be afraid that this feels like bragging. If you're just talking to your loved ones, it's not. And chances are that if you want to feel good about yourself, then you're not really known for bragging all the time.

2. Accept compliments genuinely. When your friend says,"You look great," don't brush her off with "I think these pants make me goofy." Just say "Thanks," and let the words sink in. If you're self-deprecating or put yourself down any time people try to make you feel good, then they'll stop doing it. Instead, the next time you hear something nice about yourself, look and feel legitimately happy to hear it instead of fighting it.

• Look the person in the eye and say "thank you" like you really mean it.

3. Celebrate taking care of yourself. Take time today to pamper your skin with great-smelling soap or lotion. Clean and cut your nails. You don't have to spend hours looking in the mirror — taking a long, relaxing bath will be far better for you. Putting in real time and care into your hygiene will make you feel that you are worth taking care of. This is different from throwing on a lot of makeup or buying trendy outfits; this means seeing that your body should be given time and care.

• Heck, if you want to get a massage to get rid of some of that tension, go for it! It will definitely make you feel better, both physically and mentally.

4. Wear clothes that make you feel good. You know which shirt makes you feel self-conscious and which pants make you squirm — it's time to donate those to charity. Wear your favorite color, and choose colors that will fit your skin, eye and hair color. If you feel great in it, your confidence will show! If someone teases you about the clothes you wear, shrug it off and say, "Oh well, at least I like them!" Remember: People aren't looking at you or talking about you nearly as much as you think they are.

• Don't wear clothes that make you feel ridiculous just because you think they are stylish. Do what makes you feel good and everyone will see that you're much more comfortable in your skin that way.

5. Develop your own style. Experiment with clothing to see what makes you feel the best. Some days you might feel fancy — other days you won't! That's OK. This week, visit a clothing store with a friend and pick out five new outfits in colors and styles you'd never consider wearing. Then have fun trying them on! Don't be surprised if something you thought would look awful actually looks good on you. Have a laugh at the ones you don't like.

• Though changing your style alone won't make you feel good about yourself, it can help you discover a side of yourself you never knew you had.
• Also try a new hairdo. Girls can braid their hair, twist it, or wear it in a bun. Guys can go for a shaggier look or a shorter cut. Experiment! You can express yourself through your appearance and no one way is right. They're all you.  
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6. Be friends with people who make you feel good about yourself. Try to change the subject if your friends start talking about their weight or diet. Show them that there are more interesting things to talk about, such as how their soccer team is doing and how old their little golden retriever pup is this month. If you always find yourself in company that obsesses over appearance, try to change the conversation to less superficial matters. And if you can't do that, then you may have to find some friends with stronger values.

• Ask yourself if your friends are mostly complimenting you and supporting you, or nit-picking everything you do. If they are negative about you, then you need to drop them as soon as you can. This may sound harsh, but this can lead you to feel better about yourself.

7. Learn something new. Read a good article about something going on in the world. You will feel like you are knowledgeable about some current events, and it will give you a sense of self-importance. This will also help you get out of your routine and feel like you're branching out. Take a pottery class or watch a documentary. Do something that inspires you to learn and appreciate the world. Soon, you'll feel empowered because of your willingness to change and all of the knowledge you've gained.

• If you've learned something really interesting, share it with others. That will make you feel like you have even more to offer to the world.

8. Exercise. Exercising will make you feel better both physically and mentally. Though losing weight or getting in shape alone won't make a difference, it will make you feel like you are paying more attention to your body and developing a healthy routine. Plus, the rush of endorphins that make you happier won't hurt! Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day and learn to love whatever it is you'll do. You'll feel good about yourself just by making this simple change in your schedule.

• Get a workout buddy or two to make the process more fun and encouraging. You'll feel even better if you have a friend cheering you on when you don't feel like working out.

3. Making It Stick

1. Volunteer. Though you shouldn't volunteer just to feel good about yourself, volunteering is a great way to give back to the community and to see that you have so much to offer to the world. Find a form of volunteering that fits your talents, whether it's teaching people to read or just talking to them, and make a habit of doing it at least a few times a month. Once you start volunteering, you'll see that there are plenty of people who think you are worthwhile, and that you shouldn't have spent so much time being down on yourself. Here are some great ways to get involved:

• Teach adults or children to read
• Clean up a local park
• Volunteer at a local library or bookstore
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. 
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2. Keep a journal. Keeping a journal can help you go down your path to feeling good about yourself. You should write in it at least once or twice a week and chart your progress, noting the things you do to make yourself feel better as well as those that make you feel worse. It doesn't have to be a set path and there will always be some obstacles or days when you don't feel so great. It's important to be honest and to always ask yourself what can make you feel better.

• Remember that you're on a journey and that it will take some time. Be patient and kind to yourself. Don't expect too much at once.
• Take the time to read over your journal at least once a month. This will help you see how much you have grown.

3. Cheer yourself up when you need it. If it's daytime, open up the window and let in some fresh air and sunlight. If it's nighttime, put on some clean pajamas and curl up with a favorite book, movie, or CD. Feeling stressed? Take a warm bath or shower. Imagine the water washing away your worries. Also try to create your own peace rituals. When you're angry or stressed out, take three long, slow, deep breaths. Turn on some of your favorite music. Find ways to calm your spirit, and return to those practices whenever you feel anxious.

• Don't be in denial about being upset. The sooner you can address the problem, the sooner you'll feel better.
• Find the best "cheer up" routine for yourself so you know exactly what to do when you're feeling down.
• Sometimes, the best thing you can do to feel good about yourself is to take a break and have a silly night with your friends.

 4. Start a dream list. Find a pretty notebook and write down places you'd like to visit, experiences you'd like to have, people you'd like to meet, and skills you'd like to learn. A dream list is a great start to creating a life filled with fun, adventure, and interesting experiences. Put a box next to each item on your list so you can check it off when it happens. Having an exciting plan for the future, and making it a priority to actually accomplish it, can help you feel good about yourself because you'll feel like you have a lot to look forward to.

• Make sure the adventures on your list are actually attainable, no matter how outlandish they are. You don't want to discourage yourself by writing down something you can never accomplish.

5. Get inspired by a role model. Think about what it would take to live like your role model, whether it's your mom, Shakira, or your math teacher. Take the course of action as you think - how generously he/she treats people, how he/she reacts to disappointing/insulting situations, how graciously they live every tiny moment of life & enjoy the purpose of living. Especially if you are feeling low, close your eyes and imagine how your role model would have handled the situation.

• Using an outside source of inspiration can help you envision what you would do in challenging situations, and will make you feel like you can overcome adversity.

6.  Maintain a strong support network. If you want to continue feeling good about yourself, then you can't do it alone. You have to lean on your friends, siblings, parents, significant other (if you have one), and any other important people in your life, such as your coworkers or neighbors. You need to turn to people in times of crisis and have a listening ear help you out when you don't know what to do. You also just want to keep good, kindhearted people around so you can feel excited about what life has in store for you.

• Though achieving your goals is important, so is being social! Make it a habit to spend time with other people at least a few times a week. Anyone is bound to get down in the dumps if he spends all day by himself.
• It's important to spend time with your loved ones, but there is always time to meet new people! Having a variety of friends and loved ones in your life will enhance your perspective and will make you feel even better about yourself.